Collide
by writergirrrl22
Summary: "I somehow find that you and I collide."
1. My Wishful Thinking

**A/N: so, this story is basically about Eli and Clare's relationship, but it's very much AU. i've got tonss of ideas for this one, i'm totes excited :)**

**disclaimer: i don't own degrassi. or eli. *sigh* how amazing would life be if i owned eli goldsworthy? i think it would make my life.**

"Hey," Someone said from beside me. I turned and saw Clare smiling at me.

I sighed internally.

"Hey," I said, smiling back.

"So, I have something to tell you," she said, giving me a knowing smile.

My heart raced with excitement. Maybe she was going to tell me that she knows, that she figured me out. Hopefully, something gave it away. Yeah, I admit it, I'm in like with Clare. Wow, did I just use the phrase "in like with?" Degrassi has not been good to me. But if Clare knew, it would be the best moment ever, just knowing that she knows.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, "The Yearbook meeting got cancelled, so I'm free for lunch!"

My smile faltered slightly.

Of course she didn't know, I thought to myself, that's just me and my wishful thinking, she knows nothing.

"That's…great?" I asked. Clare's grin left her face too, and she looked down and started to turn slightly pink.

"Well, I was hoping we could have lunch together, you know, just…the two of us?" When she said the two of us, she looked up slightly.

I stood there with a shocked expression on my face for half a second. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I told myself over and over again in my head.

I quickly recovered, giving her a smirk, and said, "Okay, Edwards, just the two of us it is."

She smiled as I shut my locker and slung an arm around her.

**sorry it's so uber short! i'll prolly post again in like, 2 minutes ha, but in the meantime, review por favor!**


	2. All I Really Wanna Do Is Love You

**A/N: sooo here's the second chapter yay! it's a little longer than the last, so have a field day! lol :)**

**disclaimer: don't. own. any of it...:(**

"Wait, you really said that?" I asked. Clare looked down sheepishly and I laughed.

"Don't laugh," she whined, which only made me laugh harder. We were sitting on a bench in front of the Zen garden, eating our lunches and facing each other. When I wouldn't stop laughing at what she had told me earlier, she picked up a bread roll from her plate and threw it at me.

I stopped laughing then, and looked at her with a fake-hurt expression. "Hey be careful! You could put an eye out like that, Edwards."

"Shut up," she said, giggling. I smiled at her.

Suddenly, a locker slammed and we both jumped.

"Jenna, there's nothing I can do, this isn't my fault!" KC Guthrie yelled a little ways down the hall. He turned from Jenna Middleton and started walking in our general direction. Jenna followed.

"What do you mean this isn't your fault? It's COMPLETELY your fault!" The small, but very pregnant, blonde girl said.

"I told you I didn't want to keep it, and when you refused to get rid of it, I told you I wasn't going to be involved, so quit coming to me!"

"First of all, _it _is a he, and _he_ is your son! Second of all, I told you what the doctor told me: an abortion that late in my pregnancy would be harmful to _me_!"

"Jenna, I don't want anything to do with this. As far as I'm concerned, you were never a part of my life, you don't exist."

With that, KC turned and stalked away, and Jenna burst into tears. She walked away in the other direction, still sobbing, her hands placed on her enlarged stomach.

"Damn," I said. "You used to date that asshole?"

"Unfortunately," Clare said.

There was an uncomfortable silence between us.

"So," I said, "We have the new assignment for Dawes due next week, wanna work on it sometime?"

"Um," she said, and I felt my heart drop, "I can't. I have to go to this thing with my mom, it's for church, and-"

I cut her off.

"Clare, if you don't wanna hang out with me, it's okay."

**reviewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :)**


	3. I Knew He'd Never Love Me Back

**A/N: blah i hate this chapter. sorry its been so long since i've updated though. i've just been uber busy. hope you like it!**

"If you don't wanna hang out with me, it's okay," Eli said, and my heart just broke right there. How could he think I don't want to spend time with him? _Because you don't, _the little voice in my head said. _But that's not entirely true, _I thought.

I shook my head to clear the voices. I was going insane.

"Eli, it's not that I don't want to spend time with you, it's just…" I trailed off, not exactly knowing how to explain it to him.

"It's just what?" He asked coldly, obvious hurt.

"It's just…you know that asshole?" I asked, and he nodded, a confused look on his face. "He and I had something…beautiful, but so dysfunctional, it just couldn't last."

He continued to stare at me with that same confused look on his face, so I elaborated.

"I loved him so much, but in the end I let him go, because I knew he'd never love me back. I knew he couldn't; I knew he didn't. I knew he was cheating on me with Jenna, but for a while, that only made me cling onto him longer. We fought constantly," I laughed a humorless laugh, remembering the first semester of grade 9, then added, "Not that that was any different from how we acted before we dated, it just got worse once Jenna moved to town. One day he came to my house, and I remember the exact words he said to me: 'We only make each other mad. If we can't be happy, maybe we shouldn't be together.' It was his way of saying I was boring, but he felt bad about cheating on me. I knew in then that I couldn't have him, that I wasn't supposed to have him. So instead of fighting for him, I just got up off my porch and shut the door in his face."

"Clare, I'm so sorry. I knew he left you for Jenna, I just didn't know…" He trailed off. I knew what he meant. He hadn't heard about the whole cheating issue.

"The pain I felt, that I still feel every time I see his face should not have to be experienced. I'm still reeling from the loss." I paused, thinking, then continued, "People say you never truly get over your first real love, and if that's true, which I'm starting to believe it might be, then that sucks. I don't want to always have this pain in my chest whenever I see him. Sure, I don't think about him as often as I used to, he hardly ever crosses my mind, but whenever I pass him in the hall, or see him in a classroom while I'm walking to the washroom, or run into him at The Dot, I can't help but feel sad and disappointed."

He was silent for a few seconds, looking down, brows furrowed, and thinking.

"If you need space…I'll give you as much as you need." He started to pick up his things.

When I realized that he was leaving, I practically yelled for him to stay.

"NO!" I said, grabbing his arm, and pulling him back down.

"I thought you said-"

He was confused. Heck, I didn't blame him, _I _was confused. But there was one thing I knew for sure.

"Eli, I'm better when I'm with you," I said.

**reviews are greatly ****appreciated!**


	4. I Wanna Feel You By My Side

**A/N: I had noooooooooo idea that I never finished this story. Heck, I didn't even remember writing it, and when I saw it, I was like, "Hey, what's this?" so I read and was like "Why on God's green earth did I not finish this?" So I'm going to attempt to get back on track. Clearly I wrote this like a year and a half, maybe 2 years ago originally, so I'm not quite sure where I was going with this, but I'm going to try and I hope you like it! (:**

**tl;dr: forgot about this, sorry, i will continue now.**

The bell rang to signal the end of lunch. Despite what Clare had just admitted to me (her undying love for KC Guthrie), I stayed and finished lunch with her. We sat in the garden and talked, laughed, really just had a good time, but I wasn't sure what to make of our relationship anymore. This new information I'd just received threw our very fragile budding romance into a whole new light. I'd always thought that Clare and I were basically on the same page. We got along just fine, flirted, teased each other, made each other smile excessively...but now it all seemed different. She'd all of a sudden become untouchable to me. She and KC had been broken up for months, but he still had a claim on her.

Clare stood up to go to class. Before she could bend down to pick up her bag, I already had it and began to walk to the door.

"So, off to Mr. Perino's?" I asked, as if I didn't have her entire school day memorized. She looked stunned at my chivalry, and I gave her one of my signature smirks. I couldn't tell you why I was reaching out for her so badly, even if I tried...I was just so caught up in everything about her.

"Eli, you don't have to," she replied, blushing.

"None sense," I said, opening the door for her. "If Mr. Asshole can make you fall in love with him, I'm sure I can too."

We walked in silence until we got to her class. Right before the door, she suddenly turned around to face me, with a smile on her face I hadn't noticed while we were walking.

"So you're going to make me fall in love with you?" Her smile was so beautiful, and the question she'd asked made her blush. The color made her look even more lovely than she'd already been. _Lovely?_ I asked myself. I'd never used that adjective to describe anything in my life, but it was true, she was utterly lovely, like my own little taste of heaven.

"I've made it my mission," I answered her, as if it was the most obvious thing in the entire world.

She took a step closer to me.

"And just how exactly are you going to do that?"

I stepped closer to her, almost completely closing the distance between us. Being that close to her made me feel like I was coming undone at the seems.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see," I said.

I smirked and she started to walk away.

"By the way," I added, "Words can't describe how beautiful you look when you blush. You burn brighter than the sun."

Her blush deepened, and her mouth opened in disbelief at what I'd said. I walked away, but not before I told her I'd see her after class.

**A/N: Hope you liked! I'm like really excited about this, once again. And also, again, sorry I forgot about it for those of you who like it (: Review please, and I will update soon! (:**


	5. I Could Follow You to the Beginning

**A/N: okay, so honestly, I only got one review for this chapter, but two things: 1) I know people are reading it, and 2) I actually really enjoy this story, so I'm gonna keep updating anyway. So, for those of you reading, hope you enjoy! And also, for those of you who are Victorious fans, check out my Tori/Beck story, Tell Me That You Love Me!**

I could not believe what had just happened. I watched Eli walk away proudly, and just didn't know what to do with myself.

_Get to class, Clare_, the voice in my head told me. Class, right that was something to do. I walked into Mr. Perino's class and took a seat in the far back corner, right next to the window, absentmindedly wondering if I should be worried about the voice in my head that kept telling me what to do. Maybe it's just my common sense, or my voice of reason, I thought.

I giggled to myself, thinking how Eli would tease me if he knew I was hearing voices. I sighed when I thought of Eli, and I'm sure I had a big goofy grin on my face. He was just so...perfect. There wasn't any other word for it. No other guy would be so understanding of this kind of situation, let alone make it his mission to make me fall for him.

My thoughts were interrupted by someone saying my name.

"Hey Clare," KC said as he sat in the desk right in front of me. He had that same nervous/guilty expression on his face that was always there. "Are you still coming over tonight?"

"Yeah, I don't think that's such a good idea," I said, the smile completely gone from my face, my voice sounding guarded. I tried to avoid eye contact.

KC chuckled.

"Why's that?" He asked, as if he was just humoring me.

"Because I heard what you said to Jenna in the hall during lunch. It was so completely horrible."

"Clare," He said softly, grabbing my hand. I tried to yank it away, but he held on tight. "Things with Jenna are just...complicated. I only said all of that because I only want to be with you."

I finally succeeded in yanking my hand from his. "You don't want me. You've only come back to me because you know I won't say no."

"So that's a yes?" He asked.

_No! _The voice in my head screamed. The word was on the tip of my tongue, and I knew KC could tell. He grabbed my hand again.

"Please, Clare. We'll have fun tonight. We'll do a little homework, have dinner with my mom, and then whatever you want, maybe even watch Twilight."

He was pulling out the big guns. A home cooked meal with his sweet mom, watching my favorite movie, he was even giving me his cutest puppy dog face. I couldn't resist.

_No Clare! He left you once he'll do it again!_

"Fine," I said, smiling a little.

"Great," he said, almost triumphantly. "Come over around 6."

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review, because I absolutely love finding out what you guys think, learning from your critiques, and seeing what you guys hope will happen next! Also it makes me feel really good when people like what I write :)**


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